Mari in Wonderland
by Five seas
Summary: She always seemed to blend in with the woodwork. Being left on your own against the world can be hash, but a strange event makes her see the world in a new way. Twisted, OOC-ness and sudden turn-ups, Mari can get over all of them. Right, baby Chuck?


**I don't own Shaman king.**

* * *

**Mari in Wonderland**

"Mari doesn't like this."

It was simple as that and she had nothing more to say, so she crossed her slender hands before her chest and stuck up her nose.

Standing like that in the middle of a desert, dressed in her black gothic-Lolita outfit, a ragged doll in her hands, Marion Phauna looked like a caricature of a capricious child…Ok, a capricious child whose parents got tired of and had send to a summer camp. From the state of her dress, one might think that she decided to run away from that camp by jumping over an electric fence and swimming through a pond full of crocodiles.

And yet Mari hadn't done anything, absolutely anything, but to watch the biggest showdown in the Shaman world yet-the battle between Yoh Asakura, the majestic angel of hope that would bring peace and goodness to the word, and the evil Hao, the reincarnation of a crazy, paranoid and powerful shaman (who just happened to be Yoh's twin brother). And despite the fact that Hao not only wanted to help the dying planet, but was a thousand times stronger than any other creature ever born (that includes the red power ranger), Yoh, thanks to the hope and sympathies of those who didn't want to be burned to dust, managed to win.

Mari clutched her sleeves and bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears. Hao-sama, her precious Hao-sama was gone. Slashed in half, and then probably exploded (it was hard to tell since the King of Spirits decided to toy with the lights back then). Everybody said that they wanted justice, and yet couldn't deal with the fact that those who caused the pain had to be exterminated. And now that Hao-sama was gone, the very few who actually believed in him and saw his divine plan in all its glory (and who were referred to all the time simply by 'Hao's henchmen'), were left alone to the mercy of Providence.

Feeling the salty taste of blood in her mouth, Mari stopped chewing on her lip and looked down at the doll in her feet. Even though it was a lot more interesting sitting under the blazing sun and explaining the desert lizards that she didn't like the way everything went, it was better to sit down and think. She was all alone, in the middle of nowhere, with just Chuck and a pretty dress. She never carried money with her, since the Hanagumi always stuck together, and Kanna kept their budget safely tucked into her tube top (wonder how she found enough room in there); her powers had evaporated in the moment of Hao-sama's demise, since his furioku was the thing that boosted her measly skills; and since she didn't bother to make any friends, she wasn't likely to be looked for, or even cared about.

Mari definitely didn't like this.

Some might say that it was her own fault; that this situation was all because of her. She could've put away money into her stockings, she could've trained more, and she could have definitely made a more stable friendship than just the necessary camaraderie between her, Macchi and Kanna. But Mari had her more important stuff to do-she had to take after her Hao-sama, to listen to him with the same anxiety teenagers listen to their favorite songs, and to worship him, like the god he was. She believed him, every word, and every single promise. Hadn't she seen what the humans were doing to this world? Hadn't she witnessed the fate of those who were different?

Hadn't she suffered enough?

Mari was so sure that Hao would eventually win and bring his order to this world. She had fought, she had bled and she had killed so that he might reach his goal, and her only regret had been that she didn't seen the truth earlier-that the fate f this world depended on Hao-sama's victory. She trusted him so much that even now she couldn't believe he was gone.

Hao sama was not dead. Hao sama was not defeated. Hao sama would rise and be victorious once again. Hao sama would NOT forget them.

Her neck ached, her shoulders ached, her back hurt like hell! Mari knew that her pale skin would soon burn from that merciless sun-she would turn red like a crab, and that would definitely not suit her. The pain made her snap back to reality and realize that no matter how much she talked to the desert lizards, she would not change the fact that she was tossed aside penniless, clueless and with less power than a member of the Lilly 5.

The fact that she was the loneliest person on Earth.

* * *

And just as the anger was about to give way to self-pity, something dashed past her. Mari stared at it, rubbed her eyes and stared again.

Manta, dressed in a pink rabbit suit, little paws and long ears to complete the set. And he was running as if his life was depending on it. He was headed straight for a hole in the ground that she hadn't seen before.

Mari quickly forgot her bewilderment and ran after him, Chuck hanging in one of her hands. If that brat ran like that, she thought, he might have seen Hao-sama resurrect, and he could tell her where he was. If not, that hole was nice and dark and definitely big enough to hide her from that sun.

Oh, the hole was definitely big. So big, actually, that soon after she jumped inside, the light of day was gone.

Not that she minded.

However, after a few minutes of falling in the darkness, Mari grew bored. This hole had to lead somewhere, even if that had to be China, but it was absolutely intolerable that it went on and on like that, without neither an end, nor a beginning, nor a decent view. So she was, more or less, happy to fall on a pile of cushions, randomly placed in a dimly light room.

Mari stood up and dusted off her dress, before looking around.

The room was so big that the tunnel in the sealing was indistinguishable amongst the deep shadows. It was cold, so she was probably in one of those caves around Patch…but this looked nothing like the lodgings, decorated with native Indian drawings and carpets. It seemed more like the storage room of some mad doctor-the walls were covered with shelves, and she shelves were cramped with bottles and test-tubes, each filled with some substance and labeled (in plain English, so that we don't have any accidents).

The room was giving Mari the feeling of something that had come out of an old movie-the dim light, the grayish shadows, the suffocating silence. She even took off her shoes because the noise they were making as she walked seemed unbearable.

There was no door, nor a window, and yet there was no trace of Manta. Surely he couldn't have gotten lost on the way here, it was so simple that even Ryo might have gotten through without messing his do. Mari had a sudden desire to blow that brat to shreds and she headed off to find the secret passage that led to his lair.

No, no secret passage was found, not even a mouse hole. She started to fill her time in imagining the different tortures she could inflict on that rabbit-dressed Manta once she got her hands on him, and meanwhile grew hungry.

"Now what does Mari do?" Mari asked herself "If she keeps on imagining hurting the pipsqueak, she will end up even more hungry. Maybe she should just eat Chuck."

The doll, sensing that she might actually be serious, pointed at the different bottles on the shelves, desperately trying to show her that maybe one of these liquids was something that could feed her. Mari started reading the labels-there was growing potion, there was shrinking potion, there were poisons and explosives, there was a flying potion, sun-lotion (after some thinking Mari put that in her pocket) and something that said 'Poppins potion'. The girl smelled it, and put some on Chuck's nose. Since the doll neither burned, nor some other misfortune hit her, she deduced that it was safe and drank. It tasted like strawberry syrup. The next drink, however, tasted like lemon juice, so Mari put it away.

Just then she noticed that some of the bottles were dustier than the others, and their labels were red, not yellow. For something that wasn't being used, they looked almost better than the others. Mari tried to pick one up, but it was pasted to the shelf. So she started pulling it, and she pulled, until she suddenly decided to let go.

The whole wall swung on giant hinges to open to a dimly lit corridor. Mari took Chuck and walked through.

* * *

As she walked, she passed different doors, each one with a label. One said 'Dreams storage room', the other 'Nightmares storage room', 'Bar', 'Restaurant', 'Pool', 'Drawing room' and 'Golf course.' Mari tried the handle of the movie saloon, but they played some dumb movie-a slideshow of Yoh's life. After the first few scenes Mari got bored and left, but not before spilling popcorn over the heads of the nearest spectators.

The bar turned out to be a rather cozy place, with actual colors and sounds. The stage was well lit, and a Jazz band was playing from some dark corner. Sitting around small tables were the 10 Patch priests, each dressed like some animal-Kalim, per instance, was dressed like a gargoyle, Goldva-like an old goat, and Silva, who was currently sitting on the stage with a glass of water in his hand, looked like a beaten up dog. He was in the middle of explaining how depressing it was to be Hao's descendant, to know that the same blood as the evil one runs through his veins, and that maybe one day he will turn out to be just as bad.

With the others nodding sympathetically, the whole scene looked like some group therapy where no shriek helped ,but everybody said everything that was weighing on their hearts-from the way his fist love dumped him just before prom, to the fact that he was a complete failure.

It was so stupid! The only person who looked normal in that room was Nichrome, who was stuck washing dishes, chained behind the counter. He greeted Mari with a smug grin and the stopped paying attention to her.

"What's going on here?" Mari asked. Her voice sounded incredibly loud and acted almost as a wake-up call to the people around her. The occupants of the tables turned to face her, Silva forgot what he was saying, and the music cut as if somebody pulled the needle off the gramophone.

Nichrome snickered gingerly, leaning on the sink-finally things were getting interesting.

"W…Wha-a-a-a-at?" Goldva blat out. "Wha-a-a-a-at are you saying, little gi-i-i-irl?"

"What is going on here? Where is Mari? And what happened to the desert?"

The priests exchanged worried glances-pissing off Mari wasn't exactly what they felt like doing right now. One of them, currently dressed like a frog managed out:

"This is all a ribbed dream."

"Huh?"

"ribbed, ribbed dream, it's just a dream. A temporary state of mind, caused by the King of spirits."

"Somebody explain. Properly! Or else little Chuck is going to have some fun." The doll, no longer considered as a food grinned evilly and loaded its gun to illustrate her words.

"It's because of Hao!" Silva shot out "The fight he and Yoh had in the Sanctuary made the King of Spirits lose control of this world and so he turned Patch and all its surroundings into this alternate dimension, until he restored his powers. Um…I think that if Hao apologizes properly, he'll turn us back to normal, but so far we are here to heal."

"So Hao-sama isn't dead?"

"No, not yet." Silva sighed "However, he won't be for too long. Once they find the exit, this alternate world will vanish, we will be back to our old selves, and Hao would finally be dead. O…Oi, where are you going?"

But Mari had already run away. She dashed through the hallway, opening various doors and calling Hao, without caring if she disturbed the people. Her black shoes hurt like hell and for the first time, she cursed herself for buying them. To hell with style, she had to find Hao before those self-proclaimed protagonists from the story. He would surely find a way to keep things like that and stay alive.

* * *

After checking all the doors, and stumbling upon the rest of the Hanagumi, who were too busy flirting with various male shamans from the 'good guys' to help, Mari walked out into a beautiful garden. Three guys, dressed like cards from Yu-gi-oh were busy making sushi in one of its corners. Mari recognized Horo Horo, Ren and that…Elvis wannabe, dressed like Blue eyed cartoon dragon, the Dark magician and the Battle Ox, respectively.

She slowly descended the white steps that led to the colorful gardens, and looked curiously around. The whole place was very pretty, but the trees and bushes were burned-a sure sign that Hao had passed by. However, everything else was bright and cartoonish and….Mari looked down at herself in disgust-she was wearing the Dark Magician girl outfit. Apparently, everything seemed to have come out of the Yu-gi-oh verse just for her.

"Hey you!" she went up to Ren, Horo and Ryo, who turned around to look at her blankly. "Where is Hao-sama? Mari knows he's passed through here, so don't try to be smart!"

"Hao-sama?" the boys dressed like game cards looked at each other blankly

"Who's that?" Horo asked

"Beats me." Ryo shrugged "Haven't seen anyone pass through here in the past ten minutes."

"And before that?" Mari asked. Ryo grinned stupidly. Apparently, by getting dressed like cards the bys had acquired the card's characteristics-they didn't remember anything before or after they got out of the pack to be played.

However, Mari didn't see things that way, so she grabbed Chuck and pointed him at Ryo.

"Talk, Elvis, or little Chuck will blow your head away."

"I swear, I don't know!" Ryo exclaimed and ducked. Then Ren frowned and swing his battle staff around, attracting everyone's attention.

"Listen you brat, we don't know any Hao-sama. But if we don't get that sushi done soon, harpy lady Anna will decapitate us all with her own hands."

"You remember who gave you orders, but you can't remember who passed through here ten minutes ago?" Mari asked, arms crossed.

"Well duh!" Horo exclaimed "I mean, cards know their master, don't they? Or at least their master's master."

"Huh?"

Music was played, and a grand procession entered the garden. It was consisted of amazons and sorceresses and assassins and all sorts of other deadly female characters in the anime verses. There were even one or two female arrancars from Bleach. They were all led by a tall, hot, blonde woman with harpy wings on her back and a whip hanging off her left hip.

Harpy lady Anna stopped as she saw the small group talking. She didn't seem very pleased.

"Where is my dinner?!" she roared out, making the nearby trees shake. Some birds decided to fly south early this year…actually, why not just stay there for the next couple of decades eh? They say those pyramids are quite impressive in the summer.

The boys-cards quickly took cover behind a big rock and started digging their own graves as fast as they could. Mari, however remained unmoved and stared at the harpy-lady grimly.

"Who are you?" Anna asked "You look like one of Hao's cheerleaders…Are you here to serve?"

"What are you talking about?!" Mari asked in an irritated voice

"Where are those boys…" Anna gritted her teeth "I have to decapitate them for letting strangers in my garden, not finishing my dinner on time and being stupid!"

"You're stupid." Mari stated "You're that girl that drags around that Yoh! Where is Hao-sama?"

Now it was an appropriate moment to put the saying "The smarter always steps back" to use. However, seeing that the two girls didn't feel like being smart, they opted for fighting…needless to say that the conversation went nowhere.

"You brat! How dare you defy me, you little…"

"Shut up, stupid dragger…" Mari shouted back

The Amazon army was sitting back and enjoying the show, while Ren and Horo were tossing a lot to see who will look over the rock and inform then of the situation. Horo lost. And since he wasn't exactly Anna's favorite, she spotted him and shrieked:

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

Yup, playing cards sure have a short memory.

* * *

When the amazons, led by Anna, dashed after Ren, Horo and Ryo, Mari was once again left alone.

"Stupid Yoh-chasing…" she mumbled in Anna's direction, even though there was a big pile of dust there.

"Are you looking for Hao?" a loud yawn was heard from the branches of the tree. Mari turned around and saw a cat with the face of Ashil.

"It's you…" Mari looked surprised "Mari thought only Hao-sama was reborn here…"

"Unfortunately not…" the cat looked miserable "…I was having the time of my life in the afterworld when I was zapped back to this rotten world."

"Sounds like you're not very happy about it."

"Tell me about it-one moment I'm making out with a busty blonde, the next I'm stuck in this lousy form. It's so small! And those lunatics the X-laws are also here somewhere…you better be careful if you don't want your head blown out."

"Whatever. Hao-sama?"

"He's down this lane." The cat pointed with its tail "Listen, I'm given too little time on this world…"

"Like the ghosts in cheap horror movies?"

"Precisely…" the cat grinned contentedly when his limbs slowly began to fade away "In a few moments I'll be back to my blond, but you have to hear my instructions first. Hao-sama has been sealed into a form, like me, but not a cat…no cat can be as pretty as me….anyway, there aren't many options-you guys can't stay in this alternate dimension forever, and if Yoh finds him, it's over for sure…now what was I saying….ah yes…" the only thing left of Ashil now was the tail and a pair of eyes. "Hao-sama's new form is not very pretty to look at if you're not used to it. He can regain his former powers and blast us out of this sick place if he is freed from that form….a girl has to kiss him…." The can vanished completely.

Mari waited for some time to get some genius tip, but all that Ashil left behind was an eerie chuckle. Then she took Chuck and started walking down the lane where Hao was supposed to be. Her mood improved, she even started to whistle to herself. Her precious leader was alive and well and all she had to do is free him from his sealed form to get things back on track. Hey…it turned out she was going to save the day…save the world…hopefully they wouldn't force her to wear tights and cape to look like a superhero.

She turned around the corner, then stopped.

There he was, but…

Mari gaped…

But….BUT!...

_Hao-sama…._

* * *

Was a girl.

He…she actually, was sitting on the grass, dressed in some pretty puffy white dress, his/her long hair tied two buns that made him/her look like princess Lea from Star Wars. Mari stared in shock as he/she turned and stared at her sadly.

"Hello there, darling, are you lost?" Hao asked. Mari came closer, dropped Chuck on the ground and took his/hers face in her hands. She stared, unable to speak, and then spat out:

"Let's get you somebody to kiss!"

"Wha…" before he/she knew it, Hao was dragged by the collar back into the hotel. "But darling, I cannot kiss before marriage, you know it's…"

"Shut up!" The shock from the discovery that her leader was stuck in a female body was nothing compared with his fashion sense, and Mari just wanted to go get him some girl to kiss and get this over with. She opened the different doors with a slam and scanned the rooms for somebody appropriate for the job, but all the girls she saw were too….measly to kiss Hao-sama. So she kept searching.

Meanwhile, the contact with Mari's skin was making Hao to regain his memories. He/she shook his/her head and looked at the youngest member of the Hanagumi with surprise, and just as he/she was about to ask what the hell was going on, his/her eyes fell on what he/she was wearing.

The shriek of horror echoed all the way over the Atlantic Ocean to cause weather in Britain to become extremely sunny and warm.

"MARI! MARI, WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!" Hao screamed in panic and turned around to make sure somebody wasn't looking at them. "Mari, what is this?"

"Ashil told Mari that you've been sealed in this body, Hao-sama. And we can restore your full power if we get some stupid girl to kiss you."

"Yes…quickly, let's find some girl…" Hao nodded, breaking free from Mari's iron grip. He folded his/her puffy skirts so that he/she could move freely and hurried forward

Mari kicked a door open and finally found somebody she knew-Tamamura Tamao, pink angel and seventh in the "Funbari team" mascot society, after Manta, Pirika and the Lilly 5. She was a sweet girl, always looking for a way to oblige everyone, and she never minded doing anything, it was for good (what person would dare take upon themselves an attack to help the person they care about, and knock off Ryo). Surely she was going to be more than pleased to help them.

However, there was something…something that was going to be a problem…

It seemed that the King of Spirits, aside from organizing brutal fights and spreading disaster among shamans was also a fan of Power Rangers, and Tamao…well, Tamao had fallen right into the PR verse and was in the middle of doing idiotic jumps, dressed in plastic tights, cape and a mini-skirt outfit (pink, of course). She fought yet another monster (a cheap actor in a rubber suit), because it was bad, bold, ugly, tried to destroy the local slushy stand, worked for a rotten evil guy, and had a bad fashion sense. She was looking for the rest of the power rangers so that they could for the all mighty power zord and stomp on the monster, ending the argument once and for all.

She was shooting all sorts of changing attacks on her opponent (the version was undefined) and screaming Ha-ya and Ki-ya all the time. Needless to say, the sight was rather sad-really, who would charge so slowly at a monster and not get slashed in half just because the producers say they need him in the show a little more? Mari found it irritating, so she grabbed Tamao and dragged her out of the room.

"Wait, I haven't saved the slushy stand yet!" Mari hit her to make her stop (lightly on the stomach, since she wore a helmet), then waited until Tamao to get out of the OOC-ness and process what she had to say.

"Mari wants you to kiss her leader so that he can get her out of here and conquer the world."

"But…but…" Tamao was babbling something shyly "But I haven't really done this and I don't even know this leader of yours…"

"Yes you do. Everybody does!" Mari pointed at Hao, who was currently hiding behind a column and tried to conceal the ugly dress from their sight. "GO there and kiss him."

"But that's Hao. Yoh-sama and Anna-sama won't be very pleased if I got close with…"

"Mari isn't telling you to get close with him, she tells you to kiss him. Then you can go back to your stupid slushy stands!"

"But he…I mean she is a…"

"Tamao, if you kiss me, I promise I won't kill you!" Hao whined desperately "I swear, I'll give you private quarters in my shaman palace and even let you keep my brother as a pet. Just free me from this humiliation."

"Well…" Tamao was still hesitating.

"Listen you…" Mari lost her temper "You'll kiss Hao-sama and turne him back to his original form, or else Mari will blow your head off with baby Chuck." The doll stood up and loaded its gun in a solder-like manner. Tamao leaped up and squeaked:

"Ok. Ok, I'll do it." She reached out for the pendulum/mobile phone that she used to transform herself, but it didn't work. "Ooops…"

"What?!" Hao and Mari shouted in union

"I need to defeat a really bad guy to re-transform."

Hao shouted in desperation and threw himself/herself on the floor, pulling his/her hair. Mari looked at the pink-haired girl in pure detest.

"It's how things work, you can't get out of the scene without defeating at least one bad guy." Tamao explained herself and ducked behind a vase, lest Chuck tries to shoot her.

"Mari, fight her so that she can finally kiss me!" Hao whined.

"But Mari can't lose on purpose." And since in times like these the solution just drops in your feet, a leaflet was blown into Mari's face. It said:

"Villains-r-us, a 24/7 agency that puts you through to all the villains you need in the fanfiction verse. Call 101-13-Villains-now and get your villain immediately!! Only 2.40 dollars per minute."

"This sounds promising." Tamao, being her helpful self said and hurried to the phone booth in the hotel reception. Mari and Hao followed (well, at least Mari did, and Hao ducked behind various objects.) The pink ranger sat down and dialed the phone number. A high pitch voice answered:

"Hello! This is Willains-w-us angency, Chappy the bunny wistening. How can I we of assistance?"

"Hello, I need a villain, not too strong, ASAP."

"Not ASAP, now!" Hao screamed from under a chair

"What kind of willain?" Chappy asked

"Well…" Tamao wasn't sure-scales or no scales, a pyro or a water elementalist…Sucha wide choice. And the phone bill was just pumping up with every minute. Then Mari grabbed the phone from her hands.

"Put Mari through to 'Blast from the past', now! Or there will be heads raining!" the terrified rabbit quickly dialed the number of the chosen fic and Mari grinned evilly-it was nice being your old self. "Hello, I need Mary, please. Hello, Mary, can you come over to our verse for a moment. Mari needs you to lose against Tamao….Mary doesn't care if you're about to have your final showdown, you'll lose anyway. Yes, tell Tommy to wait. Yes, Mari is waiting for you."

* * *

As they waited for the pyro-girl to show up, there was silence. Tamao's eyes shifted from Mari to Hao and from Hao to Mari, as if there was something wrong, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Hey…" she began slowly "If the only thing Hao needs to transform back to his original form is a kiss from a girl, why haven't you just kissed him, Mari?"

The two shamans stared at the girl in shock, and then they both looked at Mari's chest, as if just realizing that she actually had boobs. Then they gave Tamao a look that suggested that the best thing she could do was making herself scarce. She disappeared, and Mari and Hao were left alone in the lobby.

Hao felt a little uncomfortable-frankly, he had never really kissed a girl, and judging from his sources, it wasn't a pleasurable experience if you didn't do it with someone you loved. But since his sense of love had been amputated since birth, he never made a difference. Needless to say, Mari was just as clueless, but she supposed that she should close her eyes and focus on her leader's normal form.

But as they were about to come closer, a sound of running people reached their ears and they turned to see who the hell was making such a fuss.

It seemed that Anna and her Amazon tribe still hadn't caught up with Ryo, Ren and Horo Horo, and were currently heading in their direction. Reacting on sheer instinct, Mari grabbed Hao's hand and dragged him/her to the nearest door.

However, Ryo, Horo and Ren had clearly thought that Mari and Hao can lead them to a safe place, because they followed, and the next fifteen minutes were spent in stampeding through the dimension and occasionally breaking a vase or a chair. Mari was on the verge of turning around and ordering Chuck to shoot at everything that was moving, when she and Hao ended up in the middle of something that looked like a restoration of Feudal Japan.

Samurais, ronins and other kinds of soldiers were gathered in the huge hall, talking and taking sips from their fancy drinks. Mari barely had the time to read the label that said "Samurai's 2008 reunion, sponsored by the King of Spirits", before her attention was drawn to Amidamaru and Mosuke, Yoh and Manta's respective guardian ghosts, who were enjoying a rather stormy reunion, exchanging punches and kicks instead of greetings. The girl couldn't help but notice that the two men were made out of flesh and blood, and their little fight would probably leave permanent marks on their faces.

Mari and Hao were wondering around the crowd, looking for a way out. If Amidamaru was around, then Yoh was around, and that meant that Hao-sama was in danger. And since the entrance was blocked by Anna's amazons, they had to find another door.

But since Fate is…well Fate, and she likes to play tricks on people, Hao bumped straight into Yoh.

"Eh, Yoh-kun. It seems that this thing you drank turned you into a girl." Rabbit-Manta, who was right next to his friend, exclaimed.

"Really?" Yoh looked at the bottle of 'Poppins-potion' in his hand "It actually tasted like strawberry syrup." And then their memories came crushing by too.

"YOU!" Yoh exclaimed.

"YOH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" Hao screamed, even though he knew perfectly well.

"What are YOU doing here? And why are you wearing a dress?!" Yoh screamed back.

"I asked you first!"

"I'm not the one wearing the dress!"

"Shutup! It's only temporary and I will get back to my former glory once I get a minute alone with Mari and have a kiss!" Upon saying that Hao actually realized that his moment was drawing near. Turning in a theatric manner to Mari, he raised a gloved hand: "The time has come for me to raise from the ashes and like an all mighty phoenix to cleanse the Earth from humans. The time for a new era to come. The time for me to….WHAT THE FUCK!"

(Note: That was NOT a part of the original speech)

The reason for Hao's speech to be cut short was the fact that Mari, his Mari, was currently surrounded by Ryo, Ren, and Horo. The boys had spotted Anna and were desperately trying to find refuge. Since Mari was the only one who lasted three minutes in arguing with the Itako without getting decapitated, they thought that the best way to stay alive was to stick with her.

"Guys, there isn't enough room behind her back to hide all of us! I…I know!" Ryo shouted "If I kiss her that means that I'll be her husband and she'll have to save me."

"What the Hell!" Horo shouted "Why do you have to kiss her? And what's that obnoxious rule you just came up with!"

"Haven't you seen 'Arthur and the Minimoys'? The kiss of a princess is miraculous."

"Mari isn't a princess!"

"Well, I can still give it a try…"

"Oh no, you don't!" Hao screamed and pulled Ryo by the collar "Mari is my subordinate, if she'll be kissing anyone, that'll be me!"

"What gives you the right to speak of her as if you owe her?!" Ryo shouted back

"And what gives you the right to court her all of the sudden?! You fought her, remember!"

"Because you brainwashed her! I tried to help her."

"Shut up! It took me one thousand years to come up with that speech, I won't have you stealing my moment!"

In the state the boys were, Mari was very likely to get torn apart. And the ruckus was drawing the attention of harpy lady Anna and her amazons. The Samurai's reunion became, in record time, one hell of a melee, with dust and screams and battle calls like "Off with his head", "She's mine" and "For pony!" being heard from every corner of the room. It took them quite a while (and many, many injuries) to realize that their Golden Apple was missing.

* * *

Mari blinked against the bright light of the room where Yoh had led her. The younger Asakura had managed to pull her by the hand out of the melee before she turned into a pancake, and brought her to a small hall that led to 'The boss's office".

"What is this?" Mari asked him, pointing at the label on the door in front of them.

"The King of Sprits' office." Yoh explained cheerfully, putting his headphones on. "You got through the entire dimension and he told me to bring you to him so that he can grant you one wish."

"Mari doesn't understand." The girl sincerely acknowledged "Why is Yoh-sama helping her….savign her from being crushed…and allows her to have wishes granted? And since when has Yoh-sama been on such great terms with the king of spirits?"

"Hao had his strength, but I got the hearts of everyone." Yoh shugged "He likes me, I guess. And I can't stand people suffering."

"But Anna is Yoh's fiancée and Yoh left her there."

"Everyone here is only a projection of their original selves. Only you and I are normal and can thus get hurt." He smiled "You got here through the tunnel."

"And so did Manta."

"Oh…" Yoh looked a little worried "In that case I better go and get him out of that fight too."

"Wait…" Mari called "Did Yoh-sama say Mari has only one wish?"

"Yup-you can wish for everything-from the destruction of this universe to everlasting world peace. You can give Hao his powers back, and when you do, this dimension goes away and he'll be free to conquer the world."

"But Mari was told that this dimension would disappear if Yoh-sama found Hao-sama."

"Nah, Silva's info is always a little wrong. Your wish ends it." Yoh turned to her and smiled-a genuine, friendly smile. The kind of smile that makes people feel happy they were alive "So go on. I won't stop you."

"But Mari can restore Hao-sama to his original power." She was confused.

"I know. But the choice is still yours." He grinned "I trust your judgment. You know Hao best…and I guess you know me best. You're the man…the woman to chose the one worthy of moving on." Then he ran off to his friend's rescue. Mari stared behind him, and then turned to the door in the end of the corridor, which was, in true dramatic manner, opening ever so slowly. She started walking up towards it. And just before she stepped in the office, she mumbled:

"You say that you won't stop Mari…but you still influenced me."

* * *

The king of spirits never showed himself. He decided to blind the poor girl with light and an Angel's chorus. Mari didn't mind it-the guy wouldn't openly admit he didn't look so good. She made her wish and it was greeted with stunned silence. The king of spirits asked her if she was sure. She nodded. And he said ok.

* * *

"Ouah!" Yoh yawned, stretching on his chaise long. "That was a nice nap!"

For once he didn't get hit by something heavy, because Anna was, like never, just about lazy enough to agree with him. She was resting on the lounge next to him, eyes closed against the bright sun, occasionally taking a sip from her coconut cocktail.

It was a nice day-too warm to call it a winter, too cool to be summer; the mountains were green enough for it to be autumn, and there wasn't enough damn pollen in the air for it to be spring. In two words-a perfect weather on a perfect sandy shore in a perfect little island in the middle of the Pacifica ocean. Somewhere in the distance you could see Ren taking surfing lessons, Horo and Pirika played in the sand, Ryo and Tamao were discussing something about cooking with the barman…Yoh yawned again-he could get used to napping up to mid-afternoon like that.

It was life.

"How do you like your water-melon, Mari?" he asked, turning to the girl who was sitting under the shade of a huge palm tree.

"Delicious." She stated "May I have some more?"

"Sure!" He bent forward to cut her another piece. "By the way, would you like more cucumber peels too?"

"Yes. I thing he's getting hungry." She took the fruit from Yoh and turned to her small tortoise. "More cucumber, Hao-chan?"

The little creature couldn't reply, of course. But the wind blowing through the palm trees seemed to whimper out: _"Why me!!"_

* * *

...

...

...

As for Mari's wish….Tamao was lucky that the king of spirits got her out of the embarrassing verse she had been stuck in, before blowing it all up with a napalm bomb.

* * *

A/N-I don't own Power Rangers, Alice in Wonderland, Marry Poppins, villains-r-us, yu-gi-oh, tropical islands, sushi, slushie stands, ghosts in cheap horror movies and everything else that got involved into this crazy verse. Mary, the villain they tried calling is from my other fic, Blast from the past, so that's pretty much what I own other than the idea of putting Mari in there. Aaaaaanyway, bye bye now.

**ЧРД**


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